It's been a crappy V-Day here Wal-Mart is being force to carry "Plan B" up here in Massachusetts by NARAL. Nothing says romance like taking the equivalent of 8 progesterone birth control pills in a 12-hour period for that special hook up. You'll know if a guy is interested in a second date if he goes dutch on the cost of the pills.
Anyways… to get an idea how I came to such conclusions that birth control has nothing to do with reproductive health, and everything to do with gender politics. Below is my story, it might be tough for some family members and acquaintances to read, but I have to let people know my experience.
I would like to tell you, that I wasn’t a virgin on my wedding day and I wasn’t even a virgin when I met my husband at 19 years of age. I was raised that sex are merely recreational and fun, and I didn’t question it because it was safe with no repercussions. But I realize after being sexually active that I wasn’t happy and this wasn’t what I wanted.
Even though Catholic in name, I never knew the Church’s teachings on sexuality I began studying political science in college. My best friend was also politically involved, and freshman year proclaimed herself a lesbian while my progressive suitemate next door worked at a strip club. To be an intelligent modern day woman, you accepted any form of birth control to maintain the ability to have sex with whomever for any reason or no reason or all.
We hated men, but we let them use us as a matter of “choice”. As a result our sexuality to carry procreation was a burden and marriage was obsolete. I realize sometime between meeting my husband and my last sexual encounter I knew I never wanted to have loveless sex again in my life. When I was with my husband while dating my peers were upset. I felt being empowered as a woman, being with a man.
I chose love over political ideology, and that loving environment made me explore and read things I never knew about the Church and sex, especially natural family planning. If anything I’m angry at times that the moral teachings on sex aren’t more openly discussed, because I still carry heart ache and disbelief that I was deceived. When I’m with my husband, I’m real as a woman can be. No hormones no devices, it is just us. There nothing between us, not just physically but there are no politics of gender in the bedroom.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
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10 comments:
And if a woman is raped? Time is of the essence and should a woman really have to go from pharmacy to pharmacy to get a legal, safe and effective medication?
The idea that women are just munching on plan b after "hooking up" is a bit politically convenient, isn't it?
Does Walmart sell Condoms? Maybe they shouldn't. After all, that's artificial birth control, right?
That is what hospitals are for. If you are raped, there are other concerns i.e. contacting the police (to throw the SOB in jail) and proper care inculding emotional counseling. You need to seek proper medical treatment, not immediately go to Wal-mart. To tell a woman just go to the pharmacy and take a few pills is the improper way society should handle rape.
If rape was so prevalent that we needed Plan B at every Wal-Mart shouldn't we, as feminists be addressing the plauge of rape that is rampant in our country, not promoting emergency contraception as healthy reproductive health options?
Consider this Plan B might be completely unneeded by the patient, if she isn't in her fertile phase of her cycle. If women were properly educated about her cycle and interpet the signs, this product would not be so easily marketed. I grew up with the average guy having a condom waiting in his wallet. There is a lot of profit to be made on this.
It was incredible pressure to put out ten years ago as a teen, for a young man just waiting to get laid who had no genuine interest in you, a woman, a human being. So yes this is very convenient for any woman without a prescription, and a young man to know she can just take a few pills. You can ask any man who has worn a condom, they SUCK. So this tactic could be used, easily.... "If you really love me, you would let me not use a condom this once, and we can go to Wal-mart."
If Wal-mart decided not to sell asprin, that is their choice. Just as there is a choice not to sell condoms. Remember if a condom is going to fail, it will fail during your rather short fertile phase of your cycle, so failure rates are much higher. Also condoms fail to protect against skin to skin STDs, that could make a woman infertile.
Yes artifical birth control is wrong, because sex is a better experience without it for both the woman and the man. A woman's sexuality isn't a medical condition, it is something that should be celebrated. If anything I'm the feminist.
Sex happens to be really good, when you're actually expressing love. Love of your whole self to another. As someone who loves herself as a woman, I don't settle for anything less.
Yeah, you think I'm full of sh!t and everything I just said is complete nonsense.
That's a common reaction.
Because it takes a lot of reflection in a our society that makes our bodies sexual objects, not sexual beings in a culture that demands immediate physical gratification. Empowerment as a woman, comes though knowledge and understanding of her body, not more contraception inflicted upon us. It took a while for me to come to this point in my life. I know.
I've charted my cycle, to avoid pregnancy within a cycle as much as to achieve. I've never had a pregnancy scare.
Why?
Because if artificial birth control is going to fail, it will fail during the period of ferility in a woman's cycle. Of course it isn't going to fail in the phase prior or after, birth control only fails in your fertile phase. (There are three phases in your cycle.) If you remove all pregnancy achieving behavior in that fertile phase, you have zero failure rate.
NFP is cheap, just the cost (about $100) of the class which inurance companies pay for! Yes, it really is that realiable, that they cover it.
Also I never have to worry about other medications, such as anti-biotics effecting by realiable natural birth control.
Peace on to your journey,
Renee
Stacy, what makes a child conceived through rape so vile that she deserves to die?
There is also difficulty in connecting rape to the argument for post-intercourse contraception and abortion. The great majority of abortions and commercial want for Plan B are used by women who freely chose to have intercourse, to make dependant and relying that women are being raped is little twisted in thought to allow women to have such readily accessable options to harm their unborn child and body. To hide behind the horrific crime and play the rape card to enjoy such legal and safe freedoms to kill your unborn child doesn't sound too humane or pro-woman.
Remember the birth control patch was also considered safe and legal. Safe is relative considering how much the pharmaceutical companies and abortion industry are willing to lobby Washington.
To claim feminists (or anyone who believes Plan B should be available) arent working towards ending violence against women, is not really fair. Many of us spend a great deal of time trying to educate people and decrease the incidences of violence against women and rape.
And plan b requires more than one administration, and anyway, no one is saying rape victims should go to walmart instead of the ER so I am not sure where you are getting that- no one is telling "society" that that is how they "should handle rape".
In an ideal world, every rape victim would go to an ER, but many dont go to the ER or the police, unfortunately, and Plan B is just an option women should have, whether you or I agree with it or not- some like you, may opt not to utilize it, but thats your choice.
You say:
"Yes artifical birth control is wrong, because sex is a better experience without it for both the woman and the man. A woman's sexuality isn't a medical condition, it is something that should be celebrated. If anything I'm the feminist."
Wow. So you are speaking for every single man and woman out there? I would never tell someone that their chosen form of birth control is "wrong"- Women who want to use natural forms of birth control should certainly do just that, but again, that is a choice.
You say sex is better without artificial birth control- are you able at all to admit that some people may feel differently than you? Or in your world, should everyone think just like you do and thus anyone who doesn't, is "wrong", or immoral?
You say:
"Yeah, you think I'm full of sh!t and everything I just said is complete nonsense."
Who said you are full of shit? I certainly didn't. In fact, I am an assistant editor at a nonpartisan women's blog site, Blogher.org, and referenced your post and linked to it when I was reviewing different women's blogs who discussed this issue, regardless of what their viewpoints were. I neither mocked you or claimed you were full of shit.
I happen to have a different opinion than you, but I certainly would never claim you are wrong nor would I condescend to you the way you condescend to me and by implication everyone else who disagrees with you. You have a right to your opinion, but to claim that your experience is somehow representative of how everyone SHOULD think/act/feel is a bit close-minded.
I have a hard time understanding people who believe everyone should live their lives according to their dictates. I have never used Plan B in my life- but I think others should have that option at the very least. And particularly if someone is in crisis or has been raped and fears having an unwanted pregnancy, I don't think they should be punished for not making what you may consider a "bad" or "wrong" choice.
"what makes a child conceived through rape so vile that she deserves to die?"
Who said anything about vile and deserving to die? What's with all the loaded rhetoric?
Just for the record, since this is clearly where you are trying to take this conversation, I dont believe birth control is akin to abortion- birth control prevents pregnancy, it does not terminate it. To conflate abortion with birth control is factually and medically dishonest. And thus I am not going to fall for that bait.
And I find the reference to the "rape card" to be totally insensitive. No one is saying every single person using plan b was raped. The fact of the matter is it is an artificial form of contraception that women should have access to if they so choose, your moral disapproval notwithstanding.
People whose religious beliefs say that life begins with the act of intercourse, are free to believe what they will but my religion does not teach that and I have a right to my beliefs, just as others (YOU) have a right to theirs.
Have a nice night- I dont think I'll back to bother you again with my comments. I dont think you are really that interested in people with different views, other than to have an opportunity to arrogantly pass judgment on me/us/them.
If my comments have been construed as unduly harsh, I apologize- it wasn't how I meant it. This is a contentious issue and a very personal issue but I have tried to focus on the issue, not the personal things behind the issue. But judging from the most recent post about blogging manners/etiquette, I clearly made some offense.
In my comments I tried to not be judgmental but rather simply to play devil's advocate and rebut some of the assertions made in the comments here. If anything, I think it was the comments by Renee and "anonymous" that seemed unduly judgmental and condescending to my viewpoint. Re-reading my comments I think I tried to be respectful of your views, while also presenting my viewpoint- I didnt use vulger language or make it personal. So I am not sure what prompted the newest post about blogger etiquette which seems to insinuate some unspoken motive on my part, because I disagree with you and because my blog doesn't have a lot of personal information?
Quite frankly, I am a bit confused.
That you stacy for your comments.
Ovulation is the height of a women's sexuality, our bodies are biological and they naturally want to procreate. Of course there are grave reasons why a couple might not choose to procreate, so they both sacrifice with with periodic abstinence through a woman's fertile phase of her cycle.
Birth control and all it's side effects effect women. Women have the burden of taking it, and women have the burden of sacrificing their sexuality. The average woman can spends up to $4000 on birth control in a life time. And we pay for it. Pharmaceutical companies have a lot at stake if women knew more about their bodies and didn't need their product.
To supress ovulation, also supresses the pheromones that actually attract men. Studies have shown women on the pill, are actually attracted to weaker men. It also has been noted in research when women get off the pill, their husabnds actually find them irrisitable. See: Steven Rhoads "Taking Sex Differences Seriously"
We don't just speak the truth with our minds, we speak truth with our bodies. Artificial birth control, is nothing more then artificial sex.
Women have become artifical in so many ways in our culture, since we don't feel feminine on the inside we over compensate oursevles always trying to be sexy or desirable in overt ways to get a male's attention rather then have him fall in love with who we are.
Well, I speak for every women who wants to be truly loved.
I've learned not to hate who I am. I'm a woman; a sexual woman. If a man wants to accept me as who I am, then he has to accept that I ovulate as a part of me. He can't take want he wants, and tell me to go take a pill after we have intercourse; because he doesn't want the whole of me.
This is America, and if a woman wants to be treated like a dog. That is her choice, but we shouldn't we be more open on the truth of our bodies. Our sexual bodies are sacred and designed to love through sexual intercourse and procreation, and we should treat them as such.
There is a right and there is a wrong. I don't like to call people wrong, on a personal basis, but you are wrong. I don't buy into that wishy-washiness of my opinion and your opinion. There is one reality, life begins at conception.
My opinion isn't wieghed merely on religous context, it is based on science. I use to be as left as left can be. I can't force people, but I can change their hearts just as mine was change.
Peace,
Renee
I am reading some very flawed rationaliztions here...
Even people in committed, loving relationships don't necessarily want their love making to result in a baby once a year.
Further, as you get older, charting your cycle becomes a more and more unreliable birth control method.
As for the rape argument? Most rapes go unreported, for many reasons. In my own case, I was only 19 years old and the perpetrator was a police officer...yeah, at 19 I was really going to take on the police department.
Then there is the "unborn child" argument against Plan B. Plan B is used within 72 hours after BC fails or after unprotected intercourse. At 4 DAYS, the zygote in question consists of 100 cells and is .2 of a millimeter. So...at 72 hours...exactly WHAT unborn child are we discussing?
good post
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